My Rock

Release and forgiveness...two of my biggest challenges.  I have actively struggled with these challenges for 2 1/2 years.  Every modality (or so it felt like every) I have used to release (judgment, anger, blame, punishment, guilt, sadness and the like) has made only marginal differences.  I was in a constant state of frustration.  

My coach Joseph Faust and I were talking...I mentioned there were a handful of areas I was moving through (with a large degree of difficulty).  I chose to share with him, one that was a big one for me. He listened and suggested a practice that would come to be a very healing one for me.  He told me to take a meditative walk.  On this walk, I am to take something (an old energetic pattern, thought, or physical item) that I would not return with.  On the walk back I was to take a different path then the path I took before and I was also to bring back something new.  That resonated with me so I accepted his suggestion.

I took my meditative walk today on August 15, 2010.  I wrote a letter listing all of the people I felt I have hurt or were negatively affected by my actions.  In the letter form, I stated my request for all around forgiveness.  What I really noticed was how the people I had listed aren't the one’s withholding forgiveness; it is I who is holding self forgiveness...for ransom I think.  The ironic thing is the 'ransom' is a mirage.  I will never get forgiveness that way!  Simply put - I was the one who is to do the forgiving of myself.  My letter went on to state my willingness, ability, openness and my choice to forgive myself.  I released any and all energetic patterns of guilt, sadness, punishment, un-forgiveness etc. I then stated what I now choose to create in my experiences and with the people around me ~ Joy, Love, Happiness, Trust, Purity, Honesty, Integrity etc. into this next season of my life and beyond.  This letter and the pen I wrote it with, is what I chose to take with me and not return with.  (I noted in the letter that my symbolism of releasing the letter is to release the old ways/patterns and that my stand for the creation of great experiences and people would be welcomed and embraced in this process of letter release).

I have a small area of "forest" in my apartment community.  I thought it would serve me well to be amidst nature (the Mother of nurturing) to move through this process.  I figured burning the letter amongst forest life isn't the best idea, so I chose to take out a bag of trash with me to aid in the symbolism.  ;)  So, off I go with my intention, a bag of trash and the letter and pen.  I find a nice spot and sat down on the bag of trash using it as a stool and began this amazing process of releasing all energetic patterns that do not serve me.  As I reviewed my list of people, a realization at my soul level fell upon me.  In each interaction with ourselves, others, animals and even objects/things, we leave an Energetic Footprint™.  So,  with all of these people and their friends and family and their friends and family etc., a footprint I did leave.  It is energetic, so it isn't visible with the naked eye and it has been left even so.  From this profound realization, I will step lightly, yet boldly.  I will step with care, compassion, and wisdom, for I am responsible for each Energetic Footprint™ I make.  

After around 45 minutes, I started noticing visitors buzzing around. "Oh...it's 100° outside and I am sitting on a bag of trash...the time has come to finalize this part of the practice", I say to myself.

I make my way through the brush, stickers, cacti and trees to come upon the new home for the letter/pen and all they symbolize in releasing the 'let go's/no-serves' I have been carrying around for years.  

I take a moment to be thankful for all the lessons of each and every experience and person on that list.  Then...I heave-ho it in the dumpster with some might!  Whew!  Yeah!  I turn to leave and quietly feel to turn back around.  I am lead to take another moment of reflection.  I listen.  :o)

I take a deep breath (which was bitter sweet...I was down wind of a dumpster after all),  lift my arms in the air and smile...then tears of release began to flow...and flow.  I looked up to the sky and exclaimed I release!  I'm free!  As I made once last glance towards the bag with the letter and pen, I see a box in front of it.  Written on the box read: "Unleash Your Inner Rock Star" in bold letters!  

That I will; that I will!  Yeah baby!

It was now time to complete my meditative walk.  I choose a different path then the one before.  I am thinking what should I take back, new?  A new energy pattern ~ thought pattern?  I am more of a tangible kind of gal, so I went with a physical item.  Should I choose a twig, a rock, a leaf???  Hmmm...  

As I was walking, I simply let the Holy Spirit lead me where to walk. I walked to an area that had leaves, twigs and even a Jif peanut butter label (this, I passed on)  lol. I didn’t notice any rocks though. I ask, "Should I take a rock"?  I looked down and there, a foot in front of me was a rock...the only rock.  There was my answer!  :o)  

That rock will now serve as a symbol and reminder of this day of releasing the old and embracing the new!  Also, as a reminder to be still, willing, present, trusting and open to wherever, whenever and however The Holy Spirit (my inner wisdom) leads me, to the proverbial Rocks in my life.  I can do this ~ God is my rock.

~With Energetic Footprints

Zión

The letter I wrote was inspired by a blog I read authored by Darcy Volden at (http://secretsofhersuccess.com/blog/bag-up-failure-and-throw-it-away/)

My coach, Joseph Faust has been so very instrumental in many of my shifts and breakthroughs.(http://www.josephfaust.com/)

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