Release and forgiveness...two of my biggest challenges. I have actively struggled with these challenges for 2 1/2 years. Every modality (or so it felt like every) I have used to release (judgment, anger, blame, punishment, guilt, sadness and the like) has made only marginal differences. I was in a constant state of frustration.
My coach Joseph Faust and I were talking...I mentioned there were a handful of areas I was moving through (with a large degree of difficulty). I chose to share with him, one that was a big one for me. He listened and suggested a practice that would come to be a very healing one for me. He told me to take a meditative walk. On this walk, I am to take something (an old energetic pattern, thought, or physical item) that I would not return with. On the walk back I was to take a different path then the path I took before and I was also to bring back something new. That resonated with me so I accepted his suggestion.
I took my meditative walk today on August 15, 2010. I wrote a letter listing all of the people I felt I have hurt or were negatively affected by my actions. In the letter form, I stated my request for all around forgiveness. What I really noticed was how the people I had listed aren't the one’s withholding forgiveness; it is I who is holding self forgiveness...for ransom I think. The ironic thing is the 'ransom' is a mirage. I will never get forgiveness that way! Simply put - I was the one who is to do the forgiving of myself. My letter went on to state my willingness, ability, openness and my choice to forgive myself. I released any and all energetic patterns of guilt, sadness, punishment, un-forgiveness etc. I then stated what I now choose to create in my experiences and with the people around me ~ Joy, Love, Happiness, Trust, Purity, Honesty, Integrity etc. into this next season of my life and beyond. This letter and the pen I wrote it with, is what I chose to take with me and not return with. (I noted in the letter that my symbolism of releasing the letter is to release the old ways/patterns and that my stand for the creation of great experiences and people would be welcomed and embraced in this process of letter release).
I have a small area of "forest" in my apartment community. I thought it would serve me well to be amidst nature (the Mother of nurturing) to move through this process. I figured burning the letter amongst forest life isn't the best idea, so I chose to take out a bag of trash with me to aid in the symbolism. ;) So, off I go with my intention, a bag of trash and the letter and pen. I find a nice spot and sat down on the bag of trash using it as a stool and began this amazing process of releasing all energetic patterns that do not serve me. As I reviewed my list of people, a realization at my soul level fell upon me. In each interaction with ourselves, others, animals and even objects/things, we leave an Energetic Footprint™. So, with all of these people and their friends and family and their friends and family etc., a footprint I did leave. It is energetic, so it isn't visible with the naked eye and it has been left even so. From this profound realization, I will step lightly, yet boldly. I will step with care, compassion, and wisdom, for I am responsible for each Energetic Footprint™ I make.
After around 45 minutes, I started noticing visitors buzzing around. "Oh...it's 100° outside and I am sitting on a bag of trash...the time has come to finalize this part of the practice", I say to myself.
I make my way through the brush, stickers, cacti and trees to come upon the new home for the letter/pen and all they symbolize in releasing the 'let go's/no-serves' I have been carrying around for years.
I take a moment to be thankful for all the lessons of each and every experience and person on that list. Then...I heave-ho it in the dumpster with some might! Whew! Yeah! I turn to leave and quietly feel to turn back around. I am lead to take another moment of reflection. I listen. :o)
I take a deep breath (which was bitter sweet...I was down wind of a dumpster after all), lift my arms in the air and smile...then tears of release began to flow...and flow. I looked up to the sky and exclaimed I release! I'm free! As I made once last glance towards the bag with the letter and pen, I see a box in front of it. Written on the box read: "Unleash Your Inner Rock Star" in bold letters!
That I will; that I will! Yeah baby!
It was now time to complete my meditative walk. I choose a different path then the one before. I am thinking what should I take back, new? A new energy pattern ~ thought pattern? I am more of a tangible kind of gal, so I went with a physical item. Should I choose a twig, a rock, a leaf??? Hmmm...
As I was walking, I simply let the Holy Spirit lead me where to walk. I walked to an area that had leaves, twigs and even a Jif peanut butter label (this, I passed on) lol. I didn’t notice any rocks though. I ask, "Should I take a rock"? I looked down and there, a foot in front of me was a rock...the only rock. There was my answer! :o)
That rock will now serve as a symbol and reminder of this day of releasing the old and embracing the new! Also, as a reminder to be still, willing, present, trusting and open to wherever, whenever and however The Holy Spirit (my inner wisdom) leads me, to the proverbial Rocks in my life. I can do this ~ God is my rock.
~With Energetic Footprints
Zión
My coach, Joseph Faust has been so very instrumental in many of my shifts and breakthroughs.(http://www.josephfaust.com/)
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